Beverly Engel 
Breaking the Cycle of Abuse 
How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future

‘A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will passthe abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, oremployees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down toearth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature onhealing.’
–Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That?

‘In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will helpsurvivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood toheal from their wounds so they don’t need to re-enact their abusivepasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents andwould-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done tothem and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally andphysically abusive relationships make vitally important changes intheir relationships.’
–Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a childor adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, itisn’t a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abusebut rather a question of how–whether you will become an abuser orcontinue to be a victim. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, a leading expert on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how tostop the cycle of abuse once and for all. Her step-by-step programprovides the necessary skills for gaining control over emotions, changing negative attitudes, learning healthy ways ofcommunicating, healing the damage from prior abuse, and seeking outsupport.

Throughout, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories includingher own experiences with abusive behavior. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse gives you the power to shatter abusive patterns for good andoffers a legacy of hope and healing for you and your family.

Table of Content

Acknowledgments.

Introduction.

PART ONE: UNDERSTANDING THE LEGACY OF ABUSE.

1. What Will Be Your Legacy?

2. Assessing Our Risk Factors.

3. Why We Do to Others (and Ourselves) What Was Done to Us.

PART TWO: FACING THE TRUTH AND FACING YOUR FEELINGS.

4. Coming Out of Denial.

5. Learn to Identify and Manage Your Emotions.

6. Learn How to Identify and Manage Your Shame.

7. Managing Your Anger.

8. Coping with Fear.

PART THREE: ABUSE PREVENTION STRATEGIES.

9. How to Prevent Partner Abuse.

10. How to Prevent Child Abuse.

11. If You Have Already Become Abusive.

12. If You Have Already Been Abused or Established a Victim Pattern.

PART FOUR: LONG-TERM STRATEGIES TO HELP YOU BREAK THE CYCLE.

13. Emotionally Separating from Your Parents.

14. Facing the Truth about Your Family Legacy.

15. Breaking into the Dysfunctional Family System.

16. Continue to Heal.

Epilogue.

Resources.

References.

Recommended Reading.

Index.

About the author

BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized expert in emotional and sexual abuse. A licensed therapist for twenty-eight years, she is the author of many nonfiction books, including The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, Loving Him without Losing You, Honor Your Anger, The Right to Innocence, and The Power of Apology. She has appeared numerous times on national television programs including Oprah, Starting Over, and CNN.