Darlene Lancer 
Codependency For Dummies 

Your trusted guide to value yourself and break the patterns of
codependency

Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition is the
most comprehensive book on the topic to date. Written in plain
English and packed with sensitive, authoritative information, it
describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics
of codependency. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and
lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical
advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and
express yourself. New to this edition are chapters on working the
Twelve Steps to recover from codependency and how
therapists/coaches/nurses are affected by codependency.

Codependence is primarily a learned behavior from our family of
origin. Some cultures have it to a greater degree than
others–some still see it as a normal way of living. Yet the
costs of codependence can include distrust, faulty expectations,
passive-aggressiveness, control, self-neglect, over-focus on
others, manipulation, intimacy issues, and a slew of other harmful
traits. Codependence causes serious pain and affects the majority
of Americans–not just women and loved ones of addicts.
Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers
authoritative and trusted guidance on ways to raise your
self-esteem, detach and let go, set boundaries, recognize healthy
vs. dysfunctional relationships, overcome guilt and resentment, and
much more.

* Helps you break the pattern of conduct that keeps you in
harmful relationships

* Provides trusted guidance to create healthy boundaries, coping
skills, and expectations

* Offers advice for eliminating feelings of guilt, blame, and
feeling overly responsible

* Explains the difference between care-giving and codependent
care-taking

If you’re trapped in the cycle of codependency and looking for
help, Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition
offers trusted advice and a clear plan for recovery.

Table of Content

Introduction 1

Part I: Getting Started on Overcoming Codependency 5

Chapter 1: Codependency Hurts 7

Chapter 2: Somebody Please Tell Me What Codependency Is 29

Chapter 3: Symptoms of Codependency 39

Chapter 4: Crossing De-Nile to Recovery 71

Chapter 5: So, Are You Codependent? 81

Part II: Breakthrough to Recovery — Healing Yourself 89

Chapter 6: Getting Started in Recovery 91

Chapter 7: What Made You Codependent? 99

Chapter 8: Healing Your Wounds — Freeing Your Self 121

Chapter 9: Welcome to the Real You 139

Chapter 10: Building Self-Esteem and Self-Love 155

Chapter 11: Finding Pleasure 177

Part III: Healing Your Relationships with Others 187

Chapter 12: Letting Go and Nonattachment 189

Chapter 13: Speaking Up 211

Chapter 14: Relating to Your Family, Friends, and Lovers 229

Chapter 15: Making Relationships Work 243

Part IV: Moving On and Maintaining Recovery 261

Chapter 16: Following Your Bliss 263

Chapter 17: Where to Get Help 277

Chapter 18: Working the Twelve Steps 285

Chapter 19: Maintaining Recovery 303

Part V: The Part of Tens 315

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Love Yourself 317

Chapter 21: Ten Daily Reminders 323

Index 329

About the author

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationships and codependency. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally. She’s a sought-after speaker to professionals at national conferences and in the media.