Chen Shixu 
Women of My Life 

There were not many people seeing Feng Le before his death, and I was the only one accompanied him whenever I can. There were so many people visiting when he just entered the hospital, few of them carried gifts and most of them came empty-handed, but there“s always an awkward feeling when they left, which made me feel I“m unwanted. Even me could feel the atmosphere, and said farewell in a hurry. After that, I seldomly appeared at the hospital unless he called me for a visit. I specifically explained to Feng Le that it“s nothing but some shopping cards, and the amount in them wouldn“t be great given my position. It“s no big deal to make it public, and it“s for you. You know I“m interested in a lot of things but money, I“ve got enough from being an official, that much money wouldn“t do me anything good. To this day, I understand that everything can be bought by money is cheap, and only real friendship is priceless. He must have such feeling at that time. Later he was confirmed to have incurable disease, and there were less people visiting. During my last visit, he handed over a U drive to me from his hand bag when his ex-wife Tao Ran went to buy medicine, and said that “those are something that I kept for entertainment in my late years. I“ve made no big achievements, always wondering about the future instead of living in this moment. I lived for others, which makes me got no present or future. I lived like I would never die, and I feel that I never really lived before when it comes to death. The only thing that I can compete with you is those old sweethearts.