Charles D. Schmitz & Elizabeth A. Schmitz 
Building a Love that Lasts 
The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage

The ‘Best Relationship Book of 2008’ is now in paperback



Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz’s award-winning book reveals
how to sustain a long-term loving marriage. In addition to
exploring the seven key ingredients that define a successful
marriage–togetherness, truthfulness, respect and kindness,
staying fit, joint finances, tactile communication, and surprise
and unpredictability–the authors have included hundreds of
insightful and practical interviews with happy couples.

* Focuses on what’s right about a successful relationship, rather
than what’s wrong

* Written by a popular and very active couple known as ‘the
marriage doctors, ‘ who lead lectures, training, workshops, and
other events every week all over the country

* Contains candid interviews with a diverse collection of happily
married couples from around the world

This book offers a positive, upbeat approach to living happily
ever after.

Table of Content

Foreword by Scott M. Stanley v

Special Thanks vii

Introduction ix

The Marriage Quiz xi

Chapter 1 How Will I Know I Am in Love? 1

Chapter 2 Learning to Dance 5

Chapter 3 Character in Love and Marriage 9

Chapter 4 It’s the Little Things That Matter 13

Chapter 5 Nicknames: The Private Code for Love 17

Chapter 6 And Then . . . Along Came Kids 19

Chapter 7 Seven Surprising Secrets #1: It Takes Two to Tango 33

Chapter 8 Seven Surprising Secrets #2: No Sacred Cows 65

Chapter 9 Seven Surprising Secrets #3: The Golden Rule 105

Chapter 10 Seven Surprising Secrets #4: Your Body is Your Castle 135

Chapter 11 Seven Surprising Secrets #5: Filing a Joint Return 167

Chapter 12 Seven Surprising Secrets #6: The Loving Touch 187

Chapter 13 Seven Surprising Secrets #7: Beyond Boring 205

Chapter 14 Seven Secrets to Avoiding the Seven-Year Itch 223

Chapter 15 The Stress Test 227

Chapter 16 Marriage as a Torch Red Convertible 245

Chapter 17 A Tribute to Lasting Love 259

Chapter 18 Failure is an Option 263

Chapter 19 Reflections on Love and Marriage 273

Appendix 277

The Benefits of Marriage 278

A Seven-Week Program for Developing Ongoing Sharing in Your Marriage 282

Salad Recipes from ‘America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts’ 288

Filing a Joint Return Activity 297

Marriage as a Torch Red Convertible Activity 299

About the Authors 301

Index 302

About the author

Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is dean and professor of counseling and family therapy, University of Missouri-St. Louis, and his wife, Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, is president of their joint enterprise, Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC. Married for 43-plus years, they live in St. Louis, Missouri.