Stuart McLean 
Midge In Your Hand Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt 

The Scottish language is rich in proverbs, sayings, maxims and wise aphorisms. Sadly, in the transition from the abacus to the computer, most of these have become outdated. This great little gift book thrusts these expressions into the 21st century providing millennia of wisdom in a practical modern format. It covers everything from bagpipes to whisky with a few mentions of our dear neighbours, the Sassenachs, thrown in. So whether you are Scottish, a tourist visiting Scotland, an illegal immigrant gutting fish on Shetland or have found this book abandoned on a Trans-Siberian train, you are sure to be inspired and amused by our wit and wisdom. The section on chat-up lines and insults will certainly help you, especially if you should venture into a Scottish pub or nightclub, and could just make the difference between getting a French kiss or a Glasgow kiss.