Landon Dixon 
Breast Inspection 

In the taut, staccato style of cop show Dragnet, Clancy, BI (Building Inspector) gets an anonymous tip of shaky goings-on going down at the Sunshine Apartments. He and his partner, Rudy Valdez, check it out; and Clancy spies more than a few code violations, and a pair of boobs large enough to bring the biggest of stucco and plywood sticklers to their knees. Clancy deploys every tool at his disposal to get to the bottom of the top-heavy shenanigans rattling the foundations of the Sunshine Apartments — for the benefit of tenants, tit-men, peeping toms, and citizens alike. This erotic short story is chock full of graphic sexual language and is therefore only suitable for a mature, open-minded audience.