Mark Twain 
Honored as a Curiosity in Honolulu 

If you get into conversation with a stranger in Honolulu, and experience that natural desire to know what sort of ground you are treading on by finding out what manner of man your stranger is, strike out boldly and address him as ‘Captain.’ Watch him narrowly, and if you see by his countenance that you are on the wrong track, ask him where he preaches.  It is a safe bet that he is either a missionary or captain of a whaler.  I became personally acquainted with seventy-two captains and ninety-six missionaries.  The captains and ministers form one half of the population; the third fourth is composed of common Kanakas and mercantile foreigners and their families; and the final fourth is made up of high officers of the Hawaiian government.  And there are just about cats enough for three apiece all around. 

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Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910),   known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.