Paul Moser 
Seeking: 
An Encounter with Spiritual Ecstasy and Its Aftermath

A young man in full rebellion against his Catholic education is swept up not by an addiction to drugs or alcohol, but to something every bit as powerful and potentially destructive: the overwhelming state of ecstasy brought on by his single-minded drive to live a solitary, ascetic life. 

Grappling with an affluent but empty upbringing, he stumbles upon what he comes to call the “atomic weapons” of eastern religious practices and is ultimately confronted with not only devastatingly pleasurable sensations arising from solitary meditative practices and self-denial, but also with their inexplicable, sudden loss.

            From a suicidal low point, he manages a slow recovery with the aid of a thoroughly unusual collection of saviors, including a brilliant young nun, an enigmatic old restaurant owner and his wife, and a fiery French lover.  It is a decades-long journey from the despair of irreparable loss to the blossoming of acceptance.