Ross O’Carroll-Kelly 
Should Have Got Off at Sydney Parade 

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly thought he knew all he needed to about women’s bodies … So there I was, roysh, in a state of basically very blissful ignorance, when suddenly Sorcha’s up the Damien and I have to listen to, like, women’s stuff. And now he’s getting a biology lesson he could have SO lived without … I am telling you, roysh, I never even knew nipples could crack and I was very happy not knowing it. I mean, all I knew about the whole scenario was six seconds of seriously good loving, and now I’m basically expected to be an expert on how to, like, breathe like Dorth Vader and deal with baby turds.Sometimes, life just isn’t fair to the babe magnet supremo … This is SO not good for my rep — but do you think Sorcha even, like, cares about that? Not focking likely!