David Safier 
Apocalypse Next Tuesday 

The course of true love never runs smoothly, especially when the Apocalypse gets in the way-a hilarious rom-com, Bridget Jones meets Life of Brian When 30-something Marie jilts her boring boyfriend at the altar she wonders if life can get any worse. So when a handsome carpenter comes to work on the roof, she realizes she has nothing to lose by asking him out. Even his bizarre assertions that he is Jesus isn’t enough to put Marie off-her biological clock is ticking, and it’s time to settle down. Meanwhile, Satan (a dead ringer for George Clooney) is on the prowl, recruiting horsemen for next week’s Armageddon, scheduled for Tuesday, and Archangel Gabriel has discovered the pleasures of the flesh and is off on a sex marathon. Things are looking grim. Fortunately, Marie is dating the son of God-maybe, just maybe, he can get things straightened out. Provocative and blasphemous (with added pizza), this is a wonderfully light, witty book full of surprises.