Chris Addison 
It Wasn’t Me 

Look around you. The world is going to hell. Standards have fallen, values have been pawned, young people think 'innit’ is a word and decent, honest citizens can’t walk down the street without being set upon by an exploding terrorist or globally-warmed to death. We need to pick ourselves up. We need to rebuild this Once Great Nation. But, most of all, we need to be sure it’s all somebody else’s fault.