Viv Booth 
I Do Not Want a Fish Finger Sandwich 

Being shown the private convenience of the Queen of England in The House of Commons was not the career highlight that Viv had expected. A dazzling profession as a Prima Ballerina had been her plan but having two legs of the same length and width would appear to be a pretty strong prerequisite for a successful livelihood in that arena, not to mention a couple of ballet lessons at least. What did happen along the way were a random selection of activities which were not anticipated either: Inter-store "It’s a Knockout" on Cable TV Jumping the queue at the Austria/Slovakian Border Control Attempted mugging in Bratislava A West Highland White disgrace on National TV Acquiring a temporary Iranian Bodyguard Drinking schnapps in an isolated house in Eskilstuna LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE MAKING PLANS