Tim Woods 
Never Trust A Hero 

Never Trust A Hero is a 40, 000 word novel that pits a cynical, burned out CIA agent, NICK FARRADAY, against an even more cynical Ex-CIA agent, THADDEUS POLANSKI, AKA, TADPOLE. Tadpole’s dropped off the radar years before and is living as a jack-of-all trades and ne’re do well in L.A. Every time he makes love he breaks into the CIA Oath. From a war wound, he suffers from priapism. Just back from years of overseas service as a CIA assassin, Nick’s job is to hunt Polanski down and kill him. Nick is not enthused and looking for a new life. Once they meet, Tadpole turns everything around and becomes Nick’s spiritual mentor, albeit, for Nick, reluctantly. Both men feel guilty about their prior CIA duties and are tying to learn to live without killing people. Nick has been played the fool by his L.A. station chief, BECKY GLENN, and fallen in, then out, of love with a CIA plant, the lovely TESSA POOLE. Along the way we meet Tadpole’s friends, TIMITRIN PLATINUM, a nymphomaniac and successful bodice ripping author; TOE PAZ, Tad’s friend and classic crap used-car salesman; MANUEL, gardener for whom Tad sometimes works; and PRIME CHUCK, a black friend with blonde dreadlocks and Venice Beach body-builder–and sometime television and movie extra. Prime looks tough but can’t stand the sight of blood, is useless in a fight and speaks in a falsetto. By story’s end, the reader will have laughed and hopefully broadened their view of what constitutes America’s Foreign Policy Interests.